It has been a helluva roller coaster ride. And having been in a relationship for so long, I've learnt a thing or two about sustaining relationships from both my personal POV and also from other sights and sounds I've experienced from my peers.
Many a times people give up because they fight with their partners a lot. I fight with Delwin a lot too. I've fought so much and hurt so much I even thought of giving up. Yes we almost broke up 3/4 times. But he never gave up. And almost soon after harboring such thoughts, I also aborted the idea.
I can't stand a day not seeing him. It's like we're in a comfortable stage already, I don't have to tell him what I exactly want. For example, the other day I said I wanted soup and immediately he asked: "where?" and I said: "idk, anywhere." and he replied: "don't think idk, you wanna eat soup kitchen at CWP right?" and he was *ding ding ding* absolutely right! We also don't fight as often as we do in the past because as soon as the fight starts, it will stop. Either he or I will say: "I don't wanna fight leh, can we stop fighting?" and it will stop there and then. This was followed by a promise in the past whereby we said we will stop having fights.
Promises must be kept solemnly.
Many a times he breaks them and I go on a crazy frenzy just scolding and being all disappointed and pout. But deep inside, I feel guilty almost instantly and everything goes back to normal.(of course with a little humoring)
I'm a very jealous being. I used to hate myself, my guts and all because I thought I wasn't pretty enough. Yes I used to be like this. Haha! Not really proud of this haha. I felt fat and ugly when I looked in the mirror. I piled on make up like it was free. I powdered my face everyday before I headed to school. But I go out everyday now with only sunblock. Why? Because I gained confidence. I felt better about myself because my boyfriend walked me through those dark days with tonnes of assurance nonetheless. I feel like there's no point moping and actually I just felt really lazy piling the make up on... Actually, I want to look extra pretty on my wedding day so if I make up every day, there wouldn't really be a difference haha what logic.
Going back to when I said I was a jealous being. I used to fight with my bf when he only glanced at a girl. Haha and run away from him. Yes literally run blocks away from him hoping he'd chase me back but more often than none he wouldn't and I would have to fix up the mess I made just because I was jealous. It was inevitable. Which girl would like the idea of their bf thinking of other girls. Even for someone as faithful as him I felt like needles poking through my heart and the conscience talking to me saying:" she's trying to steal him away." 100 points for imagination, 1008272937383 turn off points for Delwin. Yes it's a turn off. Hahaha
I also noticed that most girls don't really like to hang out with their bf's friends. Haha
Actually it's normal. But I think it's better to hang out with them. Like just come out from your comfort zone. It's better to plan surprises and whatnots when you're friends with his friends. And also when he goes drinking and his phone is flat you can get his whereabouts and ask for him through his friends. And if you're close enough with his friends, they can help put in a few good words when both of you're fighting so the guy will feel soft hearted and give in! YES SO MUCH WIN!
I think like at the end of the day, we get a little carried away with the relationship because we spend all day and night with our partners and forsake our friends. I still think of them. It's not that I don't. But I thought it long and hard. I know my friends will be there for me when I need them and we will be forever friends but when you break up with your bf/gf, it's for forever. It's non-reversible and you can never remain friends. Yup so friends of attached people don't panic just because they don't spend as much time with you as when they were single. They will come back! And they always think of you guys.
Trust is important. If you don't trust your partner, the more they will cheat haha unless they are notorious for their cheating ways.(if so why are you tgt in the first place?!?!) I trust my bf to go clubbing and drinking without me most probably because when I go with him, he shows me how he acts and it's not how I imagined it to be. And sometimes I don't go because he wants to protect me. Haha so cute right I know!
Ok so after being together for so long, we have already celebrated so many months tgt. I just felt like saying that I love you in a post because you've been worried as to whether my feelings have faded because I haven't been showing much of them in the past few weeks. But I think right what matters most is not how much money we spend celebrating this day. It's whether we enjoyed each other's company that matters. And I don't need a lot. Just you, me and some movies or something. Just cuddle and have dinner whereby you serve me or even better cook for me! Haha! Simplicity at best.
Haha ok! I'm going to end my post here. Abruptly and mostly incoherent . Hahaha! Because I'm random and miss-think-a-lot like that.
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