sad face

hello empty space of mine , long time no see . posting now due to the 101 worries in my head . I wish life was like songs on a playlist . or maybe it is , but it can't be skipped if I don't like it and such . A lot has been on my mind lately . I am practically scaring myself mentally and emotionally . Having suicidal thoughts in between . it doesn't help does it ? I haven't been doing my homework . But i feel so much stress . I don't know what is happening . My mood has also been changing like mad recently . D's friends hate me ? I hate myself . Too sensitive ? Fights and thoughts of breaking up popping up like mad . Thinking of playing too much . Haven't been listening in class . Mala is making me nuts . I don't know . I need someone to talk to pronto but I don't trust in anyone . If this goes on I swear I'll explode . breakouts happening now and then . I hate putting on a false front . And crying as and when I like it . Or putting on a sad face when I get upset . But it's just the way I am . Don't blame me . I'm already under a lot of crappy stress . PLEASE . why must a teenager's life be like this ? :( going on a hiatus as i already am . I don't know the real me anymore .